I thought I'd write down a few notes on what is going on for me in my Yoga practice at the moment. I've been having some physical challenges with an instabil pelvis which is causing me pain in my left back/bum/leg. Walking is painful and pretty much everything else needs to be done with a lot of attention to have as little pain as possible. I'm 7.5 months pregnant, apparently it's a common thing....
So every day I am religiously doing the exercises the physio therapist gave me in the hope it will get better soon. I had stopped my Asana practice for a week because I was told that my flexibility is creating the problem and stretching the muscles makes it worse. Truly, it just wasn't happening. This morning I couldn't help myself and thought I'd give it a try and see what happens when I do SuryaNamaskar A. Boy oh boy, that's where my internal challenge woke up brightly..... My Asana Yoga practice had been a challenge since the beginning of my pregnancy but today I was incapable of doing anything, my body resisting in many ways. It has been frustrating to hear all the stories about Ashtangis who can keep up their practice during pregnancy without any problems. They drop back in backbends, practice whatever series and stay strong throughout. Being a teacher (and admittedly having quite an ego) you want to be one of those stories, a strong example. Especially after all those years of practice I never doubted that's how it would be for me. But here I am, 7 months pregnant with a body that is resisting strongly, not capable of even doing a Sun-salutation. For this physically ambitious lady that is a tough nut to crack so a big cry came out. After a good stint of waterflowings I soon realised that this is one of the first lessons towards motherhood; accepting what is going on, a change in priorities, I am not in control. At the same time I also realised that this is a phase and like everything else in life it's temporary. Slowly I am getting to the point that for now my Yoga practice is: acceptance and surrender.
And so I step on that mat and observe what is there, taking one breath after the other. A Yoga practice indeed.
Heleen
2 comments:
i love this blog. thank you for sharing. i just read a cool quote re: pregnancy, motherhood, surrender, not being in control & this reminded me of that. maybe i'll post it here later. xo, antonia
Thank you for your honesty, candidness, realness... It's nice to relax the teacher ego and share in the reality of being a student with one's students... Such sharing gives everyone strength to be real, work hard, and accept one's best try!
Post a Comment